Forevermore

If I could just kiss you, one more time on the lips, softly and carefully.. If I could just touch you, feel your skin against mine...I would be completely in awe of what you could do for me. If I could hear your voice whispering the "I love you's" that beckon through my brain, say your name as if longing for you to show me the love God has set aside for me, I would be all yours forevermore. 

For a Lifetime

I want to be on fire for God and it to last for a lifetime...I want to be in a relationship with someone who is the same way. I dont want us to be all "sold out" to God for a week and then start slacking again. It takes work...its an everyday thing.

You cant just expect to watch some youtube videos of skits about God, or go to church once in a blue moon and be great in your walk.

Its a daily thing and takes work to deepen your walk with Him. Open your bible daily and soak up His word...talk to Him continuously throughout the day. Let Him strengthen you.

I needed to get that out.

Worth Waiting For

I made a promise to God when I was in the 8th grade to remain pure from sex until marriage. I realized the importance of wanting to save this precious gift for the man i will marry and stuck to it.

My junior year of high school I started getting made fun of for not dating different guys and not flirting like most girls do. It got bad enough once that one of my friends moms started a rumor that I was a lesbian because I didnt have a "boyfriend" like all my other friends.

I always felt like it wasnt right to give my heart away to just any guy. I felt uncomfortable and awkward when a guy would put his arm around my waist or pressure me to kiss him when I wasnt ready.

Because of pressure from my friends and society, i always felt like I was the problem...(and growing up in a divorced home, I could have done anything and neither of my parents would have known. Not that they didnt pay attention to me.) So, I started to let loose and I got a boyfriend my senior year. I didnt like him, and he treated me terribly. Lowering my self esteem, he made my believe that he was the best i could get. It felt all wrong being with him, but still, I felt like i was the issue, and that since we havent "had sex" he is respecting me. (yeah right!)

This is so not true. Lately, I have learned that God gave me those feelings of being uncomfortable for a reason. He was saving me for something special and pure. He was making me feel uneasy about the situation I was in because he was protecting his daughter.

"Purity" does not only apply to SEX. It applies to emotional AND physical actions. When you promise to save yourself for marriage, its not only talking about saving sex for your future husband/wife...its talking about saving your emotions for him also.

Even the Christian standards have gone down extremely for whats accepted "physically"

Most youth groups these days are filled with girls chasing, tickling, and grabbing guys in ways that are inappropriate. I had a friend once who would make-out with any guy she came across...but yet called herself "close to God" and didnt feel bad about it once. Girls dont understand how much these things affect guys (im guilty myself)

These youth groups also have guys that are hugging, tickling, and touching girls also. This opens doors and lets them know that the girls are physically available (even if it doesnt mean going all the way) Guys dont understand that girls are very vulnerable and that we are MADE to pour out our emotions to a man. BUT ONLY ONE MAN. So dont take this for granted. A little piece of our heart gets ripped away everytime we pour ourselves into a guy and he turns his back to us.

Girls, a REAL man will respect you and want you to save yourself for marriage no matter if he is the one for you or not.(sex, oral, kissing, touching, hugging, emotions) He wont ask you to do anything with him because he wont want it himself. Dont feel like there are no more great guys out there with morals just like you. He is out there...just be patient.

Just remember.....I'm worth waiting for.

Song of Solomon 2:7
"Do not awaken love until the time is right"

2 Timothy 2:22
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Lover of My Soul

Ive learned lately that whether you are a new believer in Christ or if you have been a Christian for most of your life...you need church. God gives us church to help us grow with Him and become stronger in our walk.

If you ignore God for so long you become downright miserable.

Ive been learning so much in the book im reading "When God Writes Your Love Story" Eric and Leslie Ludy are the authors...they are married. Leslie writes in one part that women strive to have a strictly emotional relationship with a man, they pour their heart out to whatever man they are in a relationship with at the time. Men, are different..they express themselves with women physically...and its hard for them to pour out their heart to a woman..most of the time they dont even know how. As a woman, I know how hurtful it is to need that emotional security and feel as if im alone in backing myself up emotionally in a relationship. I need to realize that even if a man cant give it to me that God can. He is the Lover of my soul and provides me with EVERLASTING LOVE daily. He listens, and is ALWAYS available.

Its easy for guys to fall into the sexual sins with a girl even if they "promise" not to...I pray that God will give me strength enough to know what i need in a relationship and remind me that He is the only one that can give me peace. I dont want to wake up one day and realize that i have let my heart become beaten into hamburger meat because ive allowed myself to become too emotionally attached, when the guy couldnt do the same. (im not saying this applies to me right now, just in general)

have a great day! :)

He will move

Lately Ive been focused on "Letting God write my love story" not that anything is wrong with mine and Nathan's relationship...we are doing just fine, actually. We are growing closer as we focus more on God and allow our relationship to go down the paths God has for us. Im currently reading When God Writes Your Love Story. I initially got this for me and Nathan because our anniversary is coming up. I had planned on us reading it together and going through the questions together...but i couldnt wait to read it and im glad, because it has some great stuff packed in that little book!

Im beginning to trust God a lot more with taking hold of my life and drastically take over. I dont want to be in the drivers seat anymore, and i am learning more daily how to allow God to write my life (without my help)

1 Corinthians 2:9

He has also shown me who i need in my life and who i dont....ive been praying about this for a while now. He told me that people have pointed out my problems to me and hurt me greatly, so i need the strength to tell them what they may need to work on. I have no problem with this anymore and am no longer afraid to hold back.

Sometimes i forget how important it is to turn off the music, or turn of your (not-so-important) thoughts and talk to God. I catch myself rambling about nothing on end...but im glad He is listening and always will.

Nathan and I visited the LifeHouse at First Baptist Olive Branch last night...it has changed a lot...but God is def using that church. It makes me happy to see them changing things around and totally building from ground up...only based on their faith. God has moved mountains! :)

This morning i was praying for my mom. Specifically, I was thanking God that our relationship hasnt been on the rocks for a while now...I just long for that "close relationship" with her again. But, like a said ^^^^ God can move mountains!

I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

Only with Him

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

I want to trust Him. I want Him to keep me strong. I want to understand through Him. I want to be made complete...I will only be complete with Him.

Better after death

I wish I could prove to you how much I love you. I wish you could see it in my smile. I wish you could hear what my heart tells me when I'm with you. I'm too blunt, too sharp with my words. I feel like I can't get across what I'm feeling....I want you to trust that I love you more than life, even if it's hard to read. Elizabeth browning is right....I shall love you better after death.