Brittle Girl

She lives fast,
She lives hard,
She wonders what has torn her heart apart.
She won't lock her knees,
'Cause she believes there's no time for ease.
She wants rid of the pain,
but there's no pill, no drink to restrain the ache.
She needs no pity,
Pity causes her to act filthy.
She wears this glory like a cape,
Only to scourge the pain of rape.
She's rough,
She's tough,
She's weak,
She's poor.
Pushing away the water,
Reaching for the heat,
Dry love cracks her bones,
Heavy burden engulfs the heart of stone.

Seeing Daddy Cry

Most people say they've never seen their dad cry,
I, for one, have.
I was five when I first witnessed my daddy cry,
He was picking me up from my Mom's apartment
I couldnt tell you the time or date, but it was dark and rainy.
He told me to go sit in the car and I didnt want to leave my mom.
When he came to the car I remembered him being furious,
then as he drove he cried...
He cried all the way home.
Passing through red lights,
Speeding down backroads.
He took the long way home,
and I sat in the passenger side not saying a word.
Days passed and the confusion that filled my mind slipped away,
Everything I knew was torn apart,
I understood that my family was no longer together.
My daddy was heart-broken,
There was nothing I could do but lay there in his arms and love him like a five year old knows how.
My daddy cried for his pain...
My daddy cried for my pain....
But our Father held us tight.
He didnt let us go in the darkest of times.
He saw us through in the lightest of times.
There was nothing my daddy could do but lay in our Father's arms and love Him like a broken-hearted man knows how.

Catch up

I feel like i am back in the fifth grade right now because i am eating chocolate pudding and watching Ed, Edd, n' Eddie...I hated this show when i was younger, but my step brother loved it. Its so stupid.

I havent blogged in SOOOO long!!

I feel extremely blessed right now in my life. I feel like God has me on the right path and that im doing good with it. Although, i do learn things daily...and im trying not to be such a smart aleck bitch. And to trust more easily, and to let the past be the past. I feel like i hold on to a lot of the jealousy i have with nathan about his ex girlfriend. He was wrong in the beginning of our relationship, but its the past. So now, im the wrong one for clinging on to that. Its just plain foolish how i remind him of things and throw them in his face. But its something within myself that i cant let go.

Im using a gophone now, instead of my iphone. Im surprised i didnt cry when i went to get my internet cut off...but on the plus side, this new phone has held full charge ALL DAY!!! hahahaa

Nathan and I went to byhalia late last night and exolored an old abandoned school house. It was so awesome, but scary! i jumped at everything and had to pee so bad. lol

Today at school there was this blind girl that couldnt find her way to the correct hallway. It was me and a few friends just standing around and this random guy came up, took her by the hand, and helped her to class. I thought that was so sweet. Plus, it was a huge encouragement. Sometimes people are having so many problems and just the smallest things we could do would make them feel so great. Most of the time we are just too selfish, or dont want to look like a fool to people who dont even matter.

Have a wonderful day! :)